Make A Senior Smile

So first of all, let me apologize for not posting in March…things have been bananas around here!  But I wanted to take a minute to talk about a really wonderful organization Regency Grand has been proud to help support!  The Make a Senior Smile organization (http://makeaseniorsmile.org/) was founded by an amazing group of people specializing in various aspects of senior care.  The board members recognized a need in the senior population and did something about it! 

In brief, Make a Senior Smile, raises funds that are used to help improve the lives of seniors in-need or do something special for them.  Their mission statement says it perfectly:

“The mission of Make a Senior Smile, Inc., is to provide resources, life enrichment opportunities, and to generate smiles for seniors. We strive to celebrate the lives of seniors by helping to fulfill their life-long goals and missed opportunities due to sacrifices they made for others.”

Last October Make a Senior Smile focused on seniors in the West Covina area and Regency Grand was lucky enough to host their Smiles on the Vine wine gala and fundraiser.  Local businesses sponsored various appetizer stations that were accompanied by some excellent wine pairings.   It was a beautiful evening with a huge turnout.  A number of our residents even bought tickets and got all decked out for the night!

Just this past Sunday I was able to attend their annual Day at the Races event at the Santa Anita Race Track.  The weather was beautiful, the food was delicious and there were tons of amazing raffle and silent auction prizes.  Next year I will have to brush up on my horse knowledge so I can bet on some ponies!  Helping seniors is a cause that is near and dear to my heart.

 I strongly encourage everybody to check out their website.  You can read some pretty touching and amazing stories about the seniors they have helped, make a donation or find out about their next event (http://makeaseniorsmile.org/)!  For pictures from Smiles on the Vine or Day at the Races check out Regency Grand on Facebook at www.facebook.com/regencygrandwestcovina or follow us on Instagram, username REGENCYGRAND!

Tough Love

So it’s February.  There are pink roses and candy as far as the eye can see and even though Valentine’s Day is just one day, the love in the air seems to last all month.  I was originally going to do this month’s blog on something romance related, but I recently went to an event where they had an amazing guest speaker, so I decided to put a little spin on the love theme in order to pass on this information. 

As we all know, there are many different types of love: romantic, platonic, love for family and of course, tough love!  Often when helping the senior loved ones in your life you will have to deal with unpleasant topics related to their future and how they would like things handled in the event of an emergency, decline in physical or mental health and their eventual passing.  Of course nobody wants to contemplate their own mortality, especially at a stage in life where there is the very real possibility that one of these issues will come up sooner rather than later.

These can all be very sensitive topics to bring up, but it is also crucial to know your loved one’s wishes and have a plan in place when something happens.  This is where the tough love comes in.  There is no getting around it; these topics need to be discussed one way or another, to put everybody in the best position possible when something happens.  Earlier this month I met and heard a presentation given by Brenda Shorkend.  She is a Geriatric Care Manager and owns her own company, Shorkend Care Management.  This is what she does for a living.  She is able to have these conversations with seniors and help their families get the answers they need and make a plan.  During her presentation she gave some excellent tips and insight on how to start “that conversation” and keep it positive and productive, which I will pass on to you!

The Basics

·         Choose the right time & place (i.e.: not a large family gathering)

·         Choose the right people (who will they respond well too?)

·         Keep it short (you don’t want them to feel overwhelmed and shut down)

·         Listen with respect

·         Validate feelings & try to put yourself in their shoes

·         Go at their pace (give them time to process/react)

·         Don’t expect to figure everything out in one conversation

It is important to keep the lines of communication open.  If you are met with denial or resistance ask him/her to think things over and try again later.  If this continues you may want to ask another friend or family member to give it a shot.  Still not getting anywhere?  A trusted professional may be able to get through (i.e.: doctor, minister, accountant or care manager).

Brenda also advises that real life examples often work best as “ice breakers”.  You can start with something like “Remember when Aunt Mary ______?  What would you do if that ever happened?”  Or “How would we handle a situation like that?”  The news is also full of real life examples.  Ask your loved one for their advice.  Get them involved.  Ask them to research something for you.  If your example was Aunt Mary falling and breaking a hip, have him/her look into fall prevention to see what could be done to help them avoid the same thing.

In the meantime, there is plenty of information you should be gathering.  Brenda calls it a Peace of Mind Checklist:

Basic Information:                                                Emergency Contact Information:

-Name & Address                                                 -Family Members

-Phone Number                                                    -Friends

-Social Security Number                                       -Neighbors

-Driver’s License (number or copy)                      -Services (gardener, plumber, etc.)

-Car Model & License Plate                                  -Services (home care, senior services)             

-Allergies & Blood Type                                        -Physicians

-Current Medications                                           -Clergy

Crucial Contact Information:                                             Documents:

-Trustees                                                                             -Will

-Designated Person on Healthcare Directive                    -Advanced Healthcare Directive

-Designated Person on Power of Attourney (POA)          -POLST (DNR) if applicable

-POA or 2^nd Signature on Bank Accounts                         -Durable POA for Finances

-Attorney                                                                            -Medical & Medication History

-CPA                                                                                    -Insurance: life, car, homeowners

-Financial Planner                                                              -Insurance: medical and long term

                                                                                            -Financial Records

                                                                                            -Burial Plans

Passwords:                                                                         Spare Keys:

-Voicemail access number & code                                    -House, garage & mailbox

-Login: computer, email, online banking                          -Safe, safe deposit box, storage

Once everything is gathered, this information should then be given to several trusted people in the event of an emergency and kept in a safe place.  Seeing as how anything can happen at any time, this is also something you can do with your loved one and get your own information together!

Finding Closure

We are entering a brand new year, and you know what that means?!  We get a fresh start!  It’s a time of reflection, change and moving forward.  So much has happened for me, personally, that I have been taking these first few days of the New Year to decompress and really process everything that has happened, good and bad.  I always try to keep things positive and look for ways to improve myself for the year ahead and in order to do so I sometimes I need to find closure with things that happened the year prior.

                Working in an environment where we provide both physical and emotional care for people, we develop close-knit relationships with our residents.  It is a very unique work environment and one that I personally cherish.  We share in their love, laughter, joy and sorrow.  As we support our residents and their families through this phase of life, one thing that often goes overlooked in our line of work is the emotional toll that the loss of these relationships has on our staff.  In this line of work we expect that residents will leave us; they may pass away, move-on to a higher level of care, or relocate closer to family.

 After a resident has left us our staff carries on with their duties, while often coping with missing someone they greatly cared for.  It is a continuous cycle of love, loss and healing.  At the end of every year our community partners with a local hospice company and holds a reflection service for our staff to remember those residents who have left us and to process their emotions.  Following this service, starting at the end of January, we also hold a 6 week group therapy session, called Moving Through Grief.  This is open to our staff, residents, current and past family members. 

Dealing with grief and loss is not something we generally look forward to, but there is something very cleansing about working through your emotions and understanding them.  As Helen Keller once said “What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”   

Thank You!

First off I’d like to apologize for being majorly tardy with this month’s blog, but it will be short and sweet!  As we are coming down from the buzz of the holidays and preparing to wrap up another year, I would just like to extend a very heartfelt “THANK YOU” to everybody who makes our community so amazing!  It takes major teamwork to keep things going around here and boy do we have the team for it!

                There is no job too big or too small and each piece fits together to make our community whole.  Our Maintenance and Housekeeping Departments always keep us spick and span and in good running order.  Our Dining/Kitchen staff keeps us all fat and happy, while our Activity Department gets everyone where they need to be and plans great outings and fun things to do on a daily basis.  I cannot say enough about our Health Services Department, our caregivers and medication technicians are consistently going above and beyond to ensure are our residents are loved and cared for.  Our amazing nurses and management team oversee everything and our Executive Director can’t be beat!

                As amazing as our staff is however, we wouldn’t be anywhere without our wonderful residents and their families!  We come to work every day and strive to make our community the best home possible for our residents and in that process we all become one big family, sharing in all of the sorrow and joy that life brings.

Blessed to be Stressed!

Is it just me or does it seem like every year the holiday season starts creeping up earlier and earlier?  It used to be that you could find Halloween decorations in September, Thanksgiving stuff rolled out after Halloween and the Christmas music could be heard starting Thanksgiving weekend.  Now the holidays have turned into one big Merry Hallowgivingmas.  Halloween décor is mixed in with Back-to-School sales and I am not kidding when I say I heard Jingles Bells playing on the overhead at the mall this weekend.

Needless to say the holidays are a stressful and hectic time!  Though the joy of family, friends and festivities is a great payoff, it is important to realize that seniors may need to go at a slower pace and need a little extra TLC during this time of year.  I came across an article at www.sheknows.com that provides some excellent tips for helping elderly loved ones navigate the craziness:

Set realistic goals

We know visiting family and friends is always on the to-do list during the holiday season, but traveling and meeting with people all day can be physically and mentally exhausting. Make sure to schedule ample rest time throughout and allow for plenty of transportation time in between visits so that there's no rushing around to see last-minute guests.

Keep set schedules

If your senior parent or friend is used to waking up at a certain time, eating at a certain time and going to bed at a certain time, make sure to respect those schedules. Staying up later to accommodate family visits or having to eat later in the evening because of a difference in meal times can be difficult and stressful for a senior to acclimate to, so make sure you know beforehand what their schedule is like.

Keep expenses to a minimum

Many seniors are on fixed incomes, so keeping costs low can help ease any financial stress associated with the holidays. Travel, gifts and food can all start to take their toll on the checkbook, so make sure to create a realistic budget and stick to it.

Plan appropriate activities

A six-hour shopping trip may not be the best idea for a senior who has difficulty walking or standing for long periods of time. If these types of activities are unavoidable, make sure that a walker or wheelchair is available to make activities easier and more comfortable.

Keep friends or family around

Along with the fun and happy aspects of holidays comes sadness for many seniors - especially those who've lost loved ones. Be sure to not isolate yourself or your elderly companion. There are always churches and other civic organizations that offer holiday parties and gatherings, or volunteering at a local organization to stay social during the holidays.

And if all else fails, come to them!  At Regency Grand our Activity Department and staff are working double-time during the holidays to host plenty of activities, events, and get-togethers that the whole family can enjoy.  We have brunches, parties, our holiday boutique and enough entertainment to keep everybody happy.  The more the merrier here, so relieve some of your own stress and let us do the work!  It’s always a pleasure to meet those out-of-town family members and friends.  Slow down and take some time enjoy the season!

Walking for a Cure

I Don't Remember
An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about a new restaurant he and his wife recently visited.
"The food and service were great!" he said.
His friend asked, "What's the name of the place?"
"Gee, I don't remember," he said, "What do you call the long stemmed flower people give on special occasions?"
"You mean a rose?" asked his friend.
"That's it!" he exclaimed and turning to his wife, asked, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?"

I think that everyone expects to experience some memory loss as we age.  It can just become a little harder to keep track of things, but what happens when you start to notice more than just “age related” memory issues and what exactly is normal?  Experts report that “normal” memory loss typically is characterized by difficulty retaining new pieces of information, like the name of a person you just met or where you put your keys.  More extreme memory loss, like not knowing where one is, whether or not you have eaten or forgetting to put your shoes on before you go outside, can be signs that something serious is developing.  If you notice this type of behavior in yourself or a loved one, it is always best to ere on the side of caution and consult with a physician.

Regency Grand offers not only independent and assisted living, but memory care as well.  The memory care neighborhood of our community is called Kingswood Court and provides specialized care for those with varying stages of Alzheimer’s and related types of dementia.  Our Kingswood Court program is designed to cater specifically to the needs of those with memory care issues.  Our staff receives additional training on dementia and we practice behavior management to help distract, redirect or engage our residents in positive behavior.  Kingswood also has a Life Enrichment Coordinator whose job it is to plan activities and events that meet the social and sensory stimulation needs of everyone.

November is National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month and every year Regency Grand holds a series of fundraisers to raise money for a contribution to the Alzheimer’s Association.  Our staff also participates in their annual Memory Walk.  In the last few months, we have held a bake sale, smoothie sale and several estate sales.  In September we also held an art show and silent auction featuring the work of one of the residents in Kingswood.  He is an amazing painter and worked for many years as an art professor at a local college.  In October we will be holding a pancake breakfast and ending things with a candlelight dinner.  All proceeds from our efforts will be donated to the Alzheimer’s Association on November 4^th, the date of this year’s walk.

It is so important for us, as a community, to support our families and our residents by being involved in Alzheimer’s awareness and the search for a cure.  To learn more about Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia please visit www.alz.org.  Another excellent resource is a book called The 36 Hour Day.  It is a guide for caregivers and family members who have a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia.  So many of our families have found it very helpful and we always provide a copy to those touring Kingswood. 

If you would like to make a contribution to Regency Grand’s fundraising please email me at reggrand.cr1@bpmsenior.com.  It’s important to keep in mind, as Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Change is Inevitable, Progress is Optional

Have you ever heard the song Time Marches On by Tracy Lawrence?  It was a popular country song in the mid-90’s and I haven’t heard it in YEARS.  I had a conversation with a friend recently, just about our lives and all of the changes that have been going on, and the chorus to this song popped into my head: “The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes.”  

                Life is all about change and transition.  It can be good, bad, joyous, scary or all of the above.  Sometimes it’s a choice and sometimes we have no control, but change will happen and we have to embrace it!  I am currently in the process of buying my first home.  Hopefully I will have the keys in my hand by the time this blog posts!   I know things will come up that I cannot anticipate and I am looking forward to it all, but this is a change that I have chosen to make.  I am happy to be packing and moving and it will be easy for my family and friends to support me, but what happens when you are not looking forward to a change?  When something has been decided for you or has been made necessary by circumstances out of your control?

This is the challenge that many of our residents and their families face when moving into our community.  Most often a move to assisted living has been made necessary because of declining health or issues of safety.  Residents do not want to give up their homes or, as they often view it, their independence.   How do family and friends assist through this type of move? 

I found an amazing article, by Emilee Seltzer, entitled Helping Elderly Parents Transition into Assisted Living.  Seltzer offers excellent advice that I HAD to pass along.  Whether you are currently considering assisted living or have a loved one who is having a difficult time adjusting, I highly recommend taking a minute to look it over.  For both new residents and family it is important to understand that there WILL be an adjustment period.  This timeframe can range anywhere from a week to a few months.  For new residents it is key to keep an open mind.  This may not be what they want, but every situation has a silver lining, finding the good will make things easier.  For family and friends it is important to not feel guilty.  You may be going against what your loved one wants, but remember the decision was made for their safety and well being.

Another key factor in the adjustment process is the staff.  It is our job to now care for your loved one.  We need to develop an open and trusting relationship with them.  At Regency Grand we have several programs in place to help our new residents and their families adjust.  Our Resident Ambassador Program (see April blog) is designed to have “built-in” friends ready and waiting.  Our staff also provides complimentary escorts to meals and activities for the first two weeks, to help new residents learn their way around the community.  Our management team has an “open door” policy and is here to address any questions or concerns that come up along the way. 

We also hold a Care Plan Meeting after the first two weeks of a resident being with us.  This meeting gives our staff, the new resident, and their families the chance to review and discuss how things are going.  We are here for our residents and their families and take great pride in fostering and maintaining those relationships.  Hard decisions will have to be made, more things will come up, but we have seen it all and are here to guide and support through all of the ups and downs.