Blessed to be Stressed!

Is it just me or does it seem like every year the holiday season starts creeping up earlier and earlier?  It used to be that you could find Halloween decorations in September, Thanksgiving stuff rolled out after Halloween and the Christmas music could be heard starting Thanksgiving weekend.  Now the holidays have turned into one big Merry Hallowgivingmas.  Halloween décor is mixed in with Back-to-School sales and I am not kidding when I say I heard Jingles Bells playing on the overhead at the mall this weekend.

Needless to say the holidays are a stressful and hectic time!  Though the joy of family, friends and festivities is a great payoff, it is important to realize that seniors may need to go at a slower pace and need a little extra TLC during this time of year.  I came across an article at www.sheknows.com that provides some excellent tips for helping elderly loved ones navigate the craziness:

Set realistic goals

We know visiting family and friends is always on the to-do list during the holiday season, but traveling and meeting with people all day can be physically and mentally exhausting. Make sure to schedule ample rest time throughout and allow for plenty of transportation time in between visits so that there's no rushing around to see last-minute guests.

Keep set schedules

If your senior parent or friend is used to waking up at a certain time, eating at a certain time and going to bed at a certain time, make sure to respect those schedules. Staying up later to accommodate family visits or having to eat later in the evening because of a difference in meal times can be difficult and stressful for a senior to acclimate to, so make sure you know beforehand what their schedule is like.

Keep expenses to a minimum

Many seniors are on fixed incomes, so keeping costs low can help ease any financial stress associated with the holidays. Travel, gifts and food can all start to take their toll on the checkbook, so make sure to create a realistic budget and stick to it.

Plan appropriate activities

A six-hour shopping trip may not be the best idea for a senior who has difficulty walking or standing for long periods of time. If these types of activities are unavoidable, make sure that a walker or wheelchair is available to make activities easier and more comfortable.

Keep friends or family around

Along with the fun and happy aspects of holidays comes sadness for many seniors - especially those who've lost loved ones. Be sure to not isolate yourself or your elderly companion. There are always churches and other civic organizations that offer holiday parties and gatherings, or volunteering at a local organization to stay social during the holidays.

And if all else fails, come to them!  At Regency Grand our Activity Department and staff are working double-time during the holidays to host plenty of activities, events, and get-togethers that the whole family can enjoy.  We have brunches, parties, our holiday boutique and enough entertainment to keep everybody happy.  The more the merrier here, so relieve some of your own stress and let us do the work!  It’s always a pleasure to meet those out-of-town family members and friends.  Slow down and take some time enjoy the season!

Walking for a Cure

I Don't Remember
An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about a new restaurant he and his wife recently visited.
"The food and service were great!" he said.
His friend asked, "What's the name of the place?"
"Gee, I don't remember," he said, "What do you call the long stemmed flower people give on special occasions?"
"You mean a rose?" asked his friend.
"That's it!" he exclaimed and turning to his wife, asked, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?"

I think that everyone expects to experience some memory loss as we age.  It can just become a little harder to keep track of things, but what happens when you start to notice more than just “age related” memory issues and what exactly is normal?  Experts report that “normal” memory loss typically is characterized by difficulty retaining new pieces of information, like the name of a person you just met or where you put your keys.  More extreme memory loss, like not knowing where one is, whether or not you have eaten or forgetting to put your shoes on before you go outside, can be signs that something serious is developing.  If you notice this type of behavior in yourself or a loved one, it is always best to ere on the side of caution and consult with a physician.

Regency Grand offers not only independent and assisted living, but memory care as well.  The memory care neighborhood of our community is called Kingswood Court and provides specialized care for those with varying stages of Alzheimer’s and related types of dementia.  Our Kingswood Court program is designed to cater specifically to the needs of those with memory care issues.  Our staff receives additional training on dementia and we practice behavior management to help distract, redirect or engage our residents in positive behavior.  Kingswood also has a Life Enrichment Coordinator whose job it is to plan activities and events that meet the social and sensory stimulation needs of everyone.

November is National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month and every year Regency Grand holds a series of fundraisers to raise money for a contribution to the Alzheimer’s Association.  Our staff also participates in their annual Memory Walk.  In the last few months, we have held a bake sale, smoothie sale and several estate sales.  In September we also held an art show and silent auction featuring the work of one of the residents in Kingswood.  He is an amazing painter and worked for many years as an art professor at a local college.  In October we will be holding a pancake breakfast and ending things with a candlelight dinner.  All proceeds from our efforts will be donated to the Alzheimer’s Association on November 4^th, the date of this year’s walk.

It is so important for us, as a community, to support our families and our residents by being involved in Alzheimer’s awareness and the search for a cure.  To learn more about Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia please visit www.alz.org.  Another excellent resource is a book called The 36 Hour Day.  It is a guide for caregivers and family members who have a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia.  So many of our families have found it very helpful and we always provide a copy to those touring Kingswood. 

If you would like to make a contribution to Regency Grand’s fundraising please email me at reggrand.cr1@bpmsenior.com.  It’s important to keep in mind, as Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Change is Inevitable, Progress is Optional

Have you ever heard the song Time Marches On by Tracy Lawrence?  It was a popular country song in the mid-90’s and I haven’t heard it in YEARS.  I had a conversation with a friend recently, just about our lives and all of the changes that have been going on, and the chorus to this song popped into my head: “The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes.”  

                Life is all about change and transition.  It can be good, bad, joyous, scary or all of the above.  Sometimes it’s a choice and sometimes we have no control, but change will happen and we have to embrace it!  I am currently in the process of buying my first home.  Hopefully I will have the keys in my hand by the time this blog posts!   I know things will come up that I cannot anticipate and I am looking forward to it all, but this is a change that I have chosen to make.  I am happy to be packing and moving and it will be easy for my family and friends to support me, but what happens when you are not looking forward to a change?  When something has been decided for you or has been made necessary by circumstances out of your control?

This is the challenge that many of our residents and their families face when moving into our community.  Most often a move to assisted living has been made necessary because of declining health or issues of safety.  Residents do not want to give up their homes or, as they often view it, their independence.   How do family and friends assist through this type of move? 

I found an amazing article, by Emilee Seltzer, entitled Helping Elderly Parents Transition into Assisted Living.  Seltzer offers excellent advice that I HAD to pass along.  Whether you are currently considering assisted living or have a loved one who is having a difficult time adjusting, I highly recommend taking a minute to look it over.  For both new residents and family it is important to understand that there WILL be an adjustment period.  This timeframe can range anywhere from a week to a few months.  For new residents it is key to keep an open mind.  This may not be what they want, but every situation has a silver lining, finding the good will make things easier.  For family and friends it is important to not feel guilty.  You may be going against what your loved one wants, but remember the decision was made for their safety and well being.

Another key factor in the adjustment process is the staff.  It is our job to now care for your loved one.  We need to develop an open and trusting relationship with them.  At Regency Grand we have several programs in place to help our new residents and their families adjust.  Our Resident Ambassador Program (see April blog) is designed to have “built-in” friends ready and waiting.  Our staff also provides complimentary escorts to meals and activities for the first two weeks, to help new residents learn their way around the community.  Our management team has an “open door” policy and is here to address any questions or concerns that come up along the way. 

We also hold a Care Plan Meeting after the first two weeks of a resident being with us.  This meeting gives our staff, the new resident, and their families the chance to review and discuss how things are going.  We are here for our residents and their families and take great pride in fostering and maintaining those relationships.  Hard decisions will have to be made, more things will come up, but we have seen it all and are here to guide and support through all of the ups and downs.

Ohana Means Family

I was fortunate enough to be able to enjoy a wonderful trip to Maui this summer, with my family.  We hiked, went zip-lining, kayaking, plenty of shopping and of course attended a luau!  Besides breathtaking vistas and phenomenal food, one thing that I could not help but notice was the overwhelming kindness and sense of family that was extended to us the minute we stepped off the plane.  Everyone was so friendly and welcoming!  It was quite different from the “LA vibe” tourists often experience when coming to our neck of the woods.

The luau we went to was amazing.  We had all sorts of yummy, traditional foods (though I would not recommend the poy), a mai tai (or two), and saw the history of the islands portrayed through graceful hula dancing.  The hostess of the luau explained what each of the dances meant, as well as a bit more about the culture of the islands.  She explained that they try to do everything with the spirit of ohana, or family.  Whether it be your actual family, a neighbor or tourist, everyone is welcome and cared for!  Maybe it’s the fact that we have our annual August luau coming up, but I couldn’t help but relate this attitude back to Regency and the relationships we have with our residents and their families. 

During the month of August we always host a luau of our own, and let me tell you, it’s the biggest event of the year!  We serve a plethora of Hawaiian inspired food and have a great show put on by a local Polynesian dance troop.  It’s definitely a day to remember and something we all look forward to as soon as the weather starts to get warm.  The luau though, is not the only large event we host.  We do a spectacular gathering for all of the holidays.  What do we do on the months with no holiday?  A champagne brunch, of course!

Not only do these events bring all of our families, friends and staff together, it also gives our residents the chance to invite their loved ones to something THEY are hosting.   Our residents take great pride in the brunches, BBQ’s and candlelight dinners we plan for them and are eager to have friends and family partake in these special events.  It’s a wonderful thing to see everyone gathered together, as one big family, sipping champagne, enjoying the entertainment and sharing a meal.  We have all become one big family here, and it is a pleasure to be able to create such a joyous experience for everyone.

You Only Live Once

There is a new social phenomenon that has been sweeping popular culture lately.  It is the concept of YOLO, or You Only Live Once.  Personally, I love the idea, but feel it is being misinterpreted by many of the generation that is promoting it.  Many of today’s youth are using the acronym as a way to justify late nights, lots of partying and playing hooky for days at the beach.  While it is true that this carefree lifestyle won’t last forever (full-time employment, marriage and kids always seem to get in the way), I think the opportunity for something bigger is being missed.

                I work with a group of people who have seen and experienced many, many things in life, from the amazing to the tragic.  In my five years at Regency Grand I have never once had a resident tell me they wished they had spent more time in bars or at clubs.  Though they do speak fondly of nights out dancing or with friends, I hear many of them wishing for far different experiences they feel they have missed or would like to re-live.  For some it’s to have traveled more, others that they had pursued a higher education or even the simplicity of a lazy Sunday drive.

At Regency Grand we have a “Personal Preferences” philosophy when it comes to our residents and their activities.  We want to provide an everyday environment that gives our residents access to the things that are important to them, but we also strive to find a way to make those “YOLO” moments happen!  One of our residents used to be a choir director, so we helped her get one going here.  They practice every Monday, and let me tell you, they are FANTASTIC!  Another resident mentioned that she used to be friends the Pink family of Pink’s Famous Hotdogs and had been craving one for decades.  Guess where we went on our next lunch outing?  That’s right, the original Pink’s in LA!  We had another resident who grew up on a farm.  She recently expressed to us that she misses all of the animals she used to care for as a child.  Being wheelchair bound has made a visit to an actual farm extremely difficult, but that hasn’t stopped our Activity Director, Daniel.  He will be arranging for the farm to come to her!

These are just a few examples of how we’ve helped our residents re-live some of their favorite experiences, but we also love to set up more elaborate events, like over-night trips to San Diego, fishing, kayaking or even a hot air balloon ride!  We want to help our residents live their lives to the fullest.  Whether it’s something little or large we will find a way to make it happen. 

I think the YOLO philosophy of our younger generation needs a little perspective, maybe the kind that only experience can bring, but it sets a good foundation for going after your dreams and living a happy and fulfilled life.  After all, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~Mae West

Did Somebody Say STAYcation?

June 20^th is the official first day of summer!  And it’s just around the corner!  I am greatly looking forward to a family get-away to Hawaii this year.  Not only have I never been to Hawaii, but it has been YEARS since my parents, younger brother and I have been able to coordinate a time when we can all vacation together.  I have such fond memories of vacations from my childhood.  We have been all over the United States: road trips, river rafting, almost every beach along the West Coast and family reunions on the East Coast.  I also plan to see the world and experience new countries and cultures-there is just SO much to see!  But, I think we’ve all heard, if not uttered, that famous line: “I need a vacation after my vacation!”

I’ve found that there are two very different types of vacations; ones to travel, sight see, and explore, and ones to rest, relax, and avoid the hassles of everyday life.  Rather than a vacation, I like to refer to these as staycations!  You can stay local, even at home if you want to, and take the opportunity to do all those fun things you never seem to be able to find time to do!

We, at Regency Grand, have a program designed to facilitate just this!  Our Rest and Recovery Program offers a fully furnished apartment to people wanting a short-term stay.  Typically a week, but up to two months, this program includes all of the comforts of home, with the luxury of a hotel!  We do all the cooking and cleaning, provide transportation to doctor appointments, lunch outings and day trips.  We also have an excellent activity program that includes exercise classes, church services, nightly movies, happy hours, educational classes, crafts and various other types of entertainment.  We are also able to provide a wide range of 24 hour care, such as medication management, dressing, bathing and much more (try to find a resort that does all that!) 

For people considering making a move into assisted living, our Rest and Recovery Program is an excellent way to test out the community.  We are also able to bridge the gap between hospital and home, for those who may need a little extra TCL after discharge.  Often referred to as a cruise ship on land, giving our Rest and Recovery Program a try is a one way ticket to a permanent staycation!

The Shortest Distance Between New Friends is a Smile

Have you ever heard the expression “A true friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words?”   I’m not sure who said it, but this perfectly describes my relationship with my best friend, Francie.  We met during infancy at our babysitter’s house and have been attached at the hip ever since!  We have been through all of the major transitions in life together, to this point.  All of the ups and downs for each of us, the other has been there to guide, support, protect, but most importantly, enjoy!   I have no memory of life without her and I wouldn’t want it any other way!  But, as summer approaches I find that we are now facing a new challenge together; Francie will be moving to Philadelphia to start her residency program.  I know that she will be an amazing doctor.  I am thrilled that she is making her dream a reality, but I can’t help but be a little selfish and know that I will miss her terribly.  Other friends have come and gone, but she has been my constant.

This impending change got me thinking more and more about the importance of friends.  We make friends throughout life, each new relationship developing out of a change or transition (starting a new job, moving, joining a group).  One thing I think we all know is how nice it is to have a friendly face close at hand when embarking on a new chapter in life.  At Regency Grand we have a Resident Ambassador Program that is designed to provide just that; a few friendly faces waiting greet our new residents and help them get adjusted to their new home.

When somebody moves into our community, they are not only dealing with the stress of packing and coordinating a move, but also a plethora of other physical and emotional issues.  Often times new residents are facing a major downsize and leaving the family home.  They may also be grieving the loss of a spouse and coping with failing health.  While children and grandchildren are here to help with moving arrangements and handle finances, nobody can identify with the emotions that accompany this transition as well as people who have been through it!

Our Ambassadors receive a brief bio on new residents prior to move-in.  This way they are well prepared to meet, greet and support our newbies until they are feeling comfortable.  It can be daunting walking into our main dining room or an activity and not knowing the “ropes”.  The Ambassadors invite our new residents to join them at meals, participate in activities and most importantly, help them make friends with other residents.  We are so grateful to have such an amazing group.  The work they do is priceless and it is so wonderful to see new friendships grow throughout our community.  There is also no greater reward than to see a resident who has had an especially difficult time blossom and be able to use their experience to help someone else.

Francie and I will always be best friends (she knows WAY too much!).  But I am happy, that as she embarks on this new adventure she will be surrounded by people who have been in her shoes and know the road ahead.  New or old, the beautiful thing about friendship is that you always have half the sorrow and twice the joy!